


One-Shots Collection

by Literary_Disaster



Category: South Park
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literary_Disaster/pseuds/Literary_Disaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first forray away from script style writing. These are several dark "one-shots" I wrote centuries ago (2004) that don't fit in with any South Park writings I had done then or have done since. I use the term "one-shot" loosely; a few of them could be linked together in some shape or form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Black or White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young boy ponders his relationship with two others.

It was night time when we met in the school playground. The crescent moon smiled down upon us with its silvery light. A light fog, that shined with the moon's silver glow, filled the air around us. It gave my female companion a look that belonged only to an angel. If what she had just said to me hadn't just shocked the hell out of me, I would have smiled at her lovely appearance. I would have taken her into a loving embrace. I suddenly found myself climbing a stairway leading to a bright golden light. What was that light?

_I love you._

I-- I have strong feelings for you, too, but... This bright light intrigued me. I took another step up. Bested, once again, by curiosity.

_I want to be with you._

As do I, but... I found myself a few more steps higher. Heaven? Was this Heaven?

_Please, come with me..._

I want to... I want to take you in my arms and hold you, whisper that sweet nothing stuff our parents always go on about in your ear, but I... I ascended a few more of the pearly white steps and discovered a silhouette at the end of the stairs. A silhouette amidst the glittery golden light. A silhouette that looked all too familiar to me. A silhouette of the one that was the delight of my dreams. The Princess What's-Her-Name to my Earthworm Jim. The Mindy to my Mork. The Heaven at the end of my stairway.

_Please, accompany me to Heaven..._

I found myself suddenly being embraced with a gentle kiss. My Heaven suddenly lost its golden glow. I wanted to enjoy this, and the twisted part of me was, but I... I looked about frantically as Heaven suddenly became Hell. Everything was a black red, black fire consumed all that was around me. My stairs, once pearly white, where now black. The color of hatred. The color of sadness. The color of emptiness. The color of my reality if this abomination unto my friends continued. Yet, glowing brightly in the red darkness, stood my silvery angel, smiling at me, her pearly white teeth giving off a glow of their own, her hair giving off a bright silver sheen. If-- If I followed my angel, my guiding light amidst the darkness, I'd be safe in Hell, right? She'd protect me, right? I hesitantly ascended another step. Should I follow? Or retreat? God, which path should I choose? Please, give me a sign. Black or white?

_...where nothing will matter, except you and me._

When the gentle kiss was broken, I could only stare at her beauty in a slack jawed state. If the night had been brighter, I would have seen her pearl skin turn a deep shade of crimson as she shyly looked away from me. Do you realize the situation you've just put me in? If I go with you-- If I love you, things will change... In this Heaven you promise me, people...will hate us. They'll despise us. My silvery angel, beckoning me to follow her into the darkness, slowly turned to walk away. I stood still, rooted at the end of my stairway. This didn't lead to a bright Heaven, it lead to a dark Hell. Do you want that Hell? Do you?

_They just won't understand our love._

Understand? I barely understand it. And I'm directly involved. I understand one thing though. As I watched my angel walk calmly into the dark unknown, my right foot took a step back. If I go with you, I will lose someone dear. My left foot soon followed. The silvery one turned to beckon me again, but I had already turned to descend the black lonely stairs. This was not the path I wanted. Not this empty, lonely place. Not black. My destination was elsewhere. A place that was full of friends. White. I'd rather lose you, than lose him. I can't do it. Not to him. I heard an angelic voice calling my name as I calmly made my way from the Hell I abandoned. The stairs, once the color of emptiness, were regaining the color of fellowship, white. The twinkling stars once again reclaimed the vast skies and the dull yellow lights from people's houses began to dot the ground I could see far below.

_She grabbed my shoulders in a desperate attempt to make me change my mind._

I can't, no, won't go behind Stan's back. He's my best friend and I owe him that much. I finally reached the bottom of my stairway, where I returned to the playground. He-- He'd do the same for me. That's a friendship I just can't throw away. I'm sorry... I tenderly hugged the girl who started to shed mournful tears. I love you enough...to walk away. You have a future with him that would be the color of togetherness, fullness; white. I don't see that with me. I only see the color of loneliness, emptiness; black. She looked up at me, her big puppy dog eyes just screaming out to be loved.

_But, Kyle... Think about what you're saying!_

I have. And I'm positive I'm making the right decision. "I'm sorry, Wendy..." came my hoarse reply. I released her from my embrace and turned the opposite of her. Loud, tearful, heartbreaking wails lightly echoed off the brick fencing surrounding the play yard. I didn't want to see her cry. I couldn't see her cry. If I did, I wouldn't be able to leave. My own heart would break. "I'm sorry..." I left her standing alone in the playground, crying amidst the misty pale moon light. Despite the fact that I had chosen the path of white, I felt black. I had to ignore her. I had to walk away into the white blackness. Because of it, I shed tears.

_**[FIN]** _


	2. Am I Evil?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young boy wonders where his actions place him on the scale of good and evil.

It was in my mother's bedroom where I stood, covered in that sweet thick substance known as blood. Outside, rain could be heard pelting the house in a rhythmic fashion. My clothes, the bed, the wall; all were stained a dark crimson. A coppery smell filled the air. When I licked my lips in satisfaction, I tasted that copper taste. And I loved it. I never would have thought that killing would be so easy, mere child's play. Lightning flashed, briefly illuminating the room in a pale blue light.

**Am I evil?**

I saw my mother laying on the floor, her head tilted at a wrong angle, her chest suffering from multiple gashes, her face smashed, her whole being covered with her own liquid life force. This...this was from my own doing. I did this. And I enjoyed it. I must be a monster to be able to do such a thing, and so easily. And to my mother, of all people. But she had it coming. Yes. Tell me what to do? I'm nine years old, dammit! I'll do anything you ask of me, but when you tell me I can't do something I feel strongly about... Oh, I'm sorry, mother. I didn't mean to throw that lamp at your head. What's that? Keep talking, bitch! Oh, Jesus... I'm sorry. I'm not meaning to be stomping your face. Maybe if you'd move, your face wouldn't hurt so much. I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying... My boot's in your mouth. Maybe if you'd spit it out...

**Please, tell me...**

I stared at my ex-mother. Never. Never again would she come between me and...that which I cared for so much.

_Mom! Mom! You'll never guess what happened today!_

_You did what?!_

__**Lord... I don't want to be evil.**

I could still feel the burn on my cheek where she smacked me. The burning sensation that left an itch. An itch shaped like a hand print. A hand print that belonged to my mother. The mother, whose life I took. I smirked as I fingered my weapon, a lava lamp of all things. Take something from me, I take something from you. It's the way of the world. It's how it works. Sad, I know. But, it's how things are. I sighed and hung my head and shoulders. No, it's not sad. It's wrong. What was taken from me, shouldn't be taken from anyone. You can take my bike, you can take my Okama Gamesphere, you can even take my life, but I'll be damned if you take the one thing in this world that I care about so much!

**I just want to be happy.**

_I went running up to my mother in an absolute happy panic frenzy. I was so damn excited. "Mom! Mom!" I cried out ecstatically, "You'll never guess what happened today!" I was so excited, I couldn't help but bounce up and down in excitement._

_My mother stopped folding the laundry to regard me. "Oh?" she cooed at me like I was a little first grader, "What happened to you to make you so excited, huh?"_

I felt a sharp electrical shock in my mind and images suddenly jumped around.

_"You did what?!" came my mother's cry as she smacked me across the face. My head twisted with great force as I whimpered in pain. Tears formed in my eyes. What-- What is this? I do something that you and Dad do-- And I'm shunned? I get punished? I grabbed the nearest object to me, a lava--_

**A-am I...evil?**

Oh, my god... I-- I killed my mother... I MURDERED her... With my bare hands... I'll never see her again; her smile, her laugh, or feel her comforting touch when I'm feeling depressed. Am I evil? God? Am I evil for committing such a sinful act against the one who brought me into the world? Am I evil for enjoying it? Please, tell me... Am I evil for the reason I did it? I started to break down into tears; the warm watery feeling washing away the thick coppery substance from my face. Lord... I don't want to be evil. I just want to be happy.

_I went running up to my mother in an absolute happy panic frenzy. I was so damn excited. "Mom! Mom!" I cried out ecstatically, "You'll never guess what happened today!" I was so excited, I couldn't help but bounce up and down in excitement._

_My mother stopped folding the laundry to regard me. "Oh?" she cooed at me like I was a little first grader, "What happened to you to make you so excited, huh?"_

**Am I?**

_I beamed up at her; a bright smile on my face. "Dude! A girl kissed me today!" I saw the expression on her face drop a bit. "But it wasn't just any girl! It was a girl that I really, really like! So, I hugged her and kissed her back!"_

_"You did what?!" came my mother's cry as she smacked me across the face. My head twisted with great force as I whimpered in pain. Tears formed in my eyes. What-- What is this? I do something that you and Dad do-- And I'm shunned? I get punished? I grabbed the nearest object to me, a lava lamp. "You are to stay away from this girl! Do you understand me, young man? You're nine years old and shouldn't be thinking of such things!" No. I disagree. I threw the lamp at her head. It connected with a sickening thud and crimson blood flew across the wall. My mother went down to the floor in a heap._

_"Oh, I'm sorry, mother. I didn't mean to throw that lamp at your head."_

**I guess I am...**

God, did I just say that? Hell, did I just do all that? All because of a girl? Am I? A-am I...evil? I heard the door swing open behind me and the overhead light suddenly showered the room with bright orange light. It was my father. I knew it was. I could even see in my mind the expression of shock that had to have been on his face.

"Stanley?" came his wavering voice, "What have you done?"

I killed my mother because she wouldn't let me be with Wendy Testaburger, the sweetest girl of my sweetest fantasies. I killed my mother over a girl, a girl who probably won't speak to me now or even look in my direction. Why? I'm a murderer.

"Do realize what you've done?!"

Yeah, I do. And I've accepted it. I've accepted the fact that I've now lost the two women I cared about the most. I've accepted the fact that I'll probably go to jail for the rest of my life. God, I asked you if I was evil and I've just realized your answer. I guess I am.

**_[FIN]_ **


	3. Fly by Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young girl attempts to escape from the boy chasing her and wishes she was anywhere but there.

He's here. My only safe refuge is the dark closet amidst the clothes and other random things in there. I whimpered silently. My ship isn't coming because he knows. He knows my horrible secret. My secret, so horrible, that I now fear for my life. My precious life. I have so many things I want to accomplish in my life time; so many things I want see and hear with my own eyes and ears. The darkness of the light voided room covered my eyes like a veil. All I could hear was my own raspy, yet hushed, breathing. He'd eventually find me and I'd eventually... No! No! I don't want to think such thoughts. Happy thoughts... Happy thoughts... I... I could fly by night. Fly by night away from here. Fly by night away from here to change my life again.

_Hello?_

Oh, god... I felt the hot tears stream down my cold cheeks. My ship isn't coming. My ship to safety is lost at sea and I'm stuck at port, like a dunce, with my belongings, standing out like a sore thumb. How did he find out? How did he find out about my secret? I told no one, yet he's here. Here. In my house. Scaring me to death. My breathing fell silent as I heard soft footsteps down below me. He's searching, questing, seeking to find me out; hoping to rend my being into something unrecognizable; to rend me fucked up beyond recognition. I silently whimpered again. He's gonna find me. He's gonna find me. He's gonna find me! My hot tears fell faster, like a raging torrent. I want to fly by night; fly by night away from here and change my life again. But... I can't...

_Look, I just want to talk._

My ship isn't coming, and I just can't pretend that everything will be all right. I squeezed myself even deeper into the corner of the dark, quiet closet; the rustling sounds even louder than they really were. My heart was pounding in its confinement; pounding so hard I thought it would explode. Please, God, let that happen and save me from his wrath. His wrath is something I wish not to face. Not now... God, please, hear me; let this end well. I beg of you. Creak. Oh, god... He's coming up the stairs... Creak. Coming up the stairs to find me. Creak. To find me in my closet. In my hiding spot that was the negative of Heaven. Creak. The closet that will be the last place I see with my own eyes. Creak. I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I couldn't stop myself from whimpering. Creak. I drew a hand from underneath what felt like a hard-bound book and clamped said hand tightly over my mouth. Creak. I drew breath from my nose. It was quieter and less of a chance to reveal myself to him. Creak. The closet is now my fear filled Hell. I need to fly by night...away from here...and change my life again.

_Please, don't make me search for you..._

He was in the hallway now. I could hear the soft thud of his footsteps against the carpeting. But my ship isn't coming. A dark storm had come and stranded it out in the vast sea. And the vast sea is near impossible to navigate in a storm. I could hear him in the other rooms trying to lure me out with false claims, like a Siren would lure sailors to an untimely death. Claims of happiness. Claims of forgiveness. Claims of togetherness. Claims of being my ship to safety. I quickly and quietly began to hide behind the vast amount of stuff I kept in my closet. My ship isn't coming, so I need to find another way. Books, stuffed animals, a pile of clothes; I did my best to completely cover myself. In the complete blackness, I heard something fall. A book maybe? My breathing stopped then and there. Not another sound was heard, not from within the closet or from without. He knows. He knows I'm hiding. Now he knows WHERE I'm hiding. God, please, help me. Help me to fly by night away from here. Help me to fly by night, away from here, so I can change my life again.

_Don't be scared..._

Thud. I tried not to cry. Thud. I tried so hard, but my tears fell silently anyway. Thud. He was in my room now. I could hear his soft footsteps as he slowly walked. Thud. How did he find out about me? How does he even know? Thud. How-- How is he even here? He was taken away after-- I jumped like a mouse when the footsteps stopped. My ship isn't coming. Oh, god... My ship isn't coming... I'm stranded like a rat on driftwood; with nowhere to turn. I shirked back into the darkest corner of the closet, where not even the darkest demons would dare go. But I know-- I know that he would. He'd do anything for me. He'd kill...for me... It scares me...to know that someone would take the life of another...for me. Stan... Why? I'm not special enough for you to have flown by night to change your life again.

_Wendy, please. I need to talk to you._

I'm not special, Stan. I knew about your feelings for me, and I played you. I played you so I could get to Kyle. And in the end, he rejected me because of you. I'm sorry, Stan... I don't deserve your adoration. I hugged and kissed you the other day to say goodbye to you, not because I want a relationship with you. I don't deserve you, and at one time, you deserved someone better than me. I heard the knob on the closet door jiggle. I'm almost found out. My cheeks were hot from tears, hot from frustration, and hot from the pile of shirts I had covering my head. I feel like a stowaway on a ship, hiding for my life. But I'm not a stowaway, nor is this a ship. I'm Wendy Testaburger and this is my closet. I'm nine years old and I played a boy to get to another one. I'm afraid; afraid for my life. The closet door opened when I realized that my left foot was uncovered. I need to fly by night, away from here, and change my life again.

_There you are..._

My right hand gripped an object of some sort and... I can't remember what happened after that. It's like my mind went blank. I stood over the downed Stan. I was covered in his blood, my blood, and I think I may have wet myself at one point. I cried. Tears fell even harder than they did when I was in the closet. My sobs were loud and I wanted someone to hold me. Kyle... I killed him. Do you hate me now, Kyle? We parted on such peaceful terms, but now... I killed your best friend, out of fear for my own safety. He killed his own mother...for me. Who's to say he wouldn't have killed me...for me? I looked down at Stan again when something caught my teary eyes. A bloody toy boat was laying on his chest. My ship had come; had been there the entire time, I just hadn't seen it. I was blinded by darkness, by fear. If I had known that Stan would die by my hands, I would've stayed away. I would have stayed to my own devices. I would have flown by night, away from here, and changed my life again.

**_[FIN]_ **


	4. When a Wish Comes True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She likes her friend as more than a friend, but it's just a matter of unreciprocated emotions blown out of proportion.

Rain. Definition? Water that falls from the sky in tiny drops. Rain is also the name of what was coming down upon a young girl clad in purple and yellow. No more than the age of nine or ten years old, yet she had the look of a heart broken teenager. Her eyes filled with tears. Her thin lips rendering what could only be called a frown of desperation.

“Why?”

Her voice came out as a tiny squeak, almost as if she had the vocal chords belonging to a mouse. She rubbed the tears and rain from her eyes as she stood on a sidewalk. She looked up at the house she stood before. The house was red, just like _her_ jacket. A yellow light was on in the house; yellow…almost like _her_ hair.

“Bebe… It wasn’t supposed to be this way…”

She sneezed from the cold and wet air. After wiping her nose on her jacket sleeve, she removed the water laden strands of hair from her eyes and tried to hold back a small cry. Her face contorted from the effort.

“I thought…”

_It was outside in a moonlit snow laden field where they had met; two children no more than the ages of nine or ten. They stood holding hands under a large oaken tree that was devoid of its green leaves. The purple and yellow clad child placed her head on the other’s shoulder and let out a very feminine sigh._

_“It’s so beautiful out here at night…under a full moon.”_

_The girl dressed in red smirked and put an arm around her companion’s shoulders. “It sure is…” She let out a dreamy sigh as stars shone in her eyes. “Oh, my God…” She gripped her friend in a sudden bear hug, which caused the other’s eyes to bug out in surprise. “I wish…”_

_The two fell silent as they stared out at the snowy field and watched a pair of tiny brown rabbits scamper out from behind a small nearby bush. The two small rodents playfully ran across the field, tumbling over each other. The girl in purple slowly looked into her hugger’s star shining eyes. “Wh-what are you wishing?” she hesitantly asked. What could it be? Knowing her, it could be anything ranging from a new doll to a smaller bra size when she gets older._

_The girl in red let go of her companion and twirled a lock of blond hair around her finger. “Guess,” she said simply and shyly. “Guess right and I’ll give you a surprise.”_

Wendy hesitated when she took a step forward. It’s been nearly four days. Surely Bebe has gotten over it. Right? Surely the four days of uncertainty and heartache the purple clad girl had gone through had been enough for her ex-best friend. But there was doubt. Lightning flashed, causing the girl to twitch in fear. Thunder soon followed as if warning against proceeding any further.

_“What’s the surprise?”_

That was what started the whole mess. Why had she even asked it? The only reason: Curiosity. Definition? When one is interested in something of which he/she knows nothing about. One could also say that Wendy was curious about Bebe; about how she was feeling at the moment; about whether or not she was still considered a friend even after…

_Bebe giggled and bashfully looked away. “You have to guess first,” she replied playfully._

_Wendy stared in silence as she contemplated her response. Why was her blonde playmate being bashful? This was a little unlike her. “Okay.” She cleared her throat. “I’m guessing that it has something to do with someone you like.”_

“What is this I’ve been feeling?” The rain now fell in a raging torrent, flattening Wendy’s beret to her head. Her hair fell into her eyes once again, causing the emotionally ill girl to again wipe the strands from her hair from her eyes. “Bebe?” She sniffled and raised her eyes to look at the shining window on the second floor.

_The girl in red bounced up and down in excitement as she spoke. “Hee! You got it!”_

“Is this the feeling you had…? Is this what you felt when I…?”

_“And here’s your surprise!” She grabbed Wendy by the wrists and led her away from the tree. When they were some distance away, Bebe held Wendy in a dancing embrace; one hand locked with hers and the other behind her back._

_“What are you doing, Bebe?” There was no malice in the question; no hint of emotion that could rain down upon the scene. Only curiosity. Bebe simply smiled brightly and began to lead Wendy in a dance within the moonlight. Their boots crunched the snow beneath them; the sounds seemingly loud in the still of the night._

_“I wish…that the person I really really like…”_ Definition of ‘really really like’? A child’s way of expressing the word love. _The two slowly twirled around in time with the music that could only be heard on a night such as this. All the while, the moon shone its spotlight upon them as though they were the center of a Broadway production. Bebe laid her head on the other’s shoulder and seemed to almost purr. “…felt the same about me.”_

_Wendy stopped the dance to stare into Bebe’s eyes. What did all this mean? The ‘really really like’? Her head on her shoulder? The sudden bashfulness? “Bebe…” Was she…?_

_The crimson clad girl scrunched her face in anxiousness. “Oh, fuck beating around the bush!” She gripped the dark haired girl by the shoulders and kissed her._

The kiss was something that still lingered on her lips; the smooth texture, almost like a silk blanket. Wendy brought a hand to her mouth and traced her lips with a gloved finger. The wool was wet thus creating a very unpleasant feel upon the sensitive skin around the facial area. That one moment and the few after had left her feeling empty inside, with only a void in the pit of her well being to consume her and leave her in tears.

_“What are you doing, Bebe?!” There was no curiosity in the question; only the emotion called rage that could bring a storm to any peaceful scene. “I don’t really really like you like that! What are you?! Crazy?!”_

The girl sobbed and sat down in the water that had filled the low spot in the concrete. She had overreacted a tad. No. That was an understatement. She had blown everything out of proportion. But it was funny. After that moment, her views of her ex-best friend had changed. Feelings of anger were replaced with a longing. Feelings of detest were transformed to a desire to hold. Feelings of friendship changed to something more. “Bebe…”

_Bebe took a step back. A look of utter desperation lined her face as tears began to fall. She looked absolutely heartbroken. “I-- I guess I am…”_

“When a wish comes true…”

_Under the moonlight and the stars, Wendy had been left standing by herself in the snow. Tears began to collect in the corners of her eyes._

“…it sometimes makes others cry.”

“ _But Bebe! Come back! Please!” There was no rage in that statement; only desperation. “I didn’t mean it like--”_

The feelings of friendship had changed to really really liking her. “Just like now…” Wendy missed Bebe, not only as a friend, but as something more. Yet she was afraid of what would happen. “Bebe, your wish came true. The person that you really really liked…now feels the same about you.” Wendy shivered from the cold, wet wind that blew around her. There was no sense in killing herself out in the bad weather. It would accomplish nothing in the long run.

_The girl in purple slumped her shoulders in defeat and turned to head home. A cloud passed over the moon shortly afterwards, casting the snowy field into darkness._

Wendy slowly stood and looked longingly at Bebe’s house one last time. She shook her head, gingerly placed her purple gloved hands in her pockets and turned to slowly walk away. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled nearby, causing the rain to fall down even harder. Crying. Definition? The action of water falling from one’s eyes during an extreme emotional state. Crying could also be used to describe what was happening on the girl’s face as tears rained down her bloodshot eyes and onto her reddened cheeks.

“Your wish came true…and because of it, I’m crying…”

_**[Fin]** _


	5. Costume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's got a new costume to hide in plain sight.

Good God… I can hardly contain myself. I grinned as I stared down at the limp form of my arch nemesis below me. Eh heh heh. Think you can out-smart me? I knelt down beside the fallen one and began to caress his unmoving leg. Think you can try to out-smart me and get away with it? Oh, gee… I’m sorry, asshole, but it looks like you thought wrong. Try to think you’re smarter than me and you’ll find yourself on the wrong side of my anger. My hand slowly traveled up the deceased’s leg until it reached the belt and the button holding the pants to his body. Yes… I have an idea… One that will RAPE him of his body and soul. I chuckled softly to myself. Oh, my god… This will be beautiful.

_“Wuh-well, here we are. Behind the tornado slide. Buh-but, gee whiz, there’s nothin’ here.”_  
_“Heh. I just wanted to show ya something, dude.”_  
_“Wuh-wait! What are ya doin’?!”_  
_“I just want to teach ya a lesson, Butters!”_  
_“No! Luh-let go of me!”_  
_“Hold still, you fuckin’ faggot!”_  
_“NOOOOOOO!!!”_

I shook my head to clear the voices from earlier today from my mind and then bared my teeth in a grin as I stared down at the neatly preserved body on the ground before me. The victim’s pants, shoes, and underwear had been removed and neatly piled nearby. It was amazing how easy I was able to take him down. So FUCKING amazing. One single blow to the head and then…TIMBEEERRR… I laughed maniacally out loud for a few moments before I stopped to listen to myself. This isn’t me. I shouldn’t be this evil; this dastardly. But you know what? I don’t give a flying fuck. A change is always a nice breath of fresh air, whether it is good or bad. But then again, good and bad are simply black and white points of view. Heh. Well, I happen to like my point of view. I slowly slid my hand up the still body’s stomach and undid all the buttons on his coat as I made my way to his neck. This is the greatest fucking idea! God, I can barely contain myself so much that I want to rip his clothes off. But if I do that--

_“Hey. Have you guys heard?”_  
_“Heard what?”_  
_“They found Butters unconscious and bleeding behind the tornado slide…”_  
_“Jesus Christ, dude…”_  
_“Yeah. I know. They said that when he woke up, dazed out of his mind, he kept screaming that he wasn’t gay and that things shouldn’t go there.”_  
_“What the hell…?”_  
_“You know what the scary thing is…?”_  
_“What?”_  
_“Among his screams was a single name.”_  
_“Who…?”_  
_“Cartman…”_  
_“WHAT?!”_

Hee. My eyes widened in glee as I stared at the now fully nude body before me. Good god… It was a horrible sight, but as much as I wanted to throw up I had to keep my mind clear. He’ll pay… Oh, yes he’ll pay… This won’t even scratch the surface in making him pay for being a god damn fuckwad. It, however, is all that I can do. That fucker pushed me too far and now his punishment must be carried out. I laughed maniacally again as I reached for the Ginsu knife lying on a nearby chair. It slices. It dices! It can still cut open bare skin after chopping up a PVC pipe! I carefully pressed the sharp edge over the center of the chest and slowly pressed down. The farther down the knife went into the skin, the faster the semi-warm red blood spilled out of the incision. My grin became wider as my hand guided the knife towards the southern tip of the torso.

_“Oh, look! It’s the Jew!”_  
_“Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”_  
_“What the hell’re you talkin’ about?”_  
_“Butters, dude! What the hell possessed you to do what you did to him?!”_  
_“Very simple, dumb ass! A little faggot like him needed to be taught a lesson.”_  
_“A lesson?! Dude! What the hell did he do that was so wrong?”_  
_“It’s not a question of what he did, it’s a simple matter of his existence buggin’ the fuck outta me. And for the record, I do believe this is my greatest achievement.”_  
_“Greatest achievement?! You raped him with a knife! HOW THE FUCK IS THAT YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?!”_  
_“… How do you know about that? Nobody knows about that… Not even that stupid ass melvin saw the knife.”_  
_“I saw what you did, Cartman… I saw everything…”_  
_“You know what this means, don’t you, Jew?”_  
_“Yeah. It means you’ve gone completely fucking insane, fat ass!”_  
_“Ehhhnt! Wrong! It means it’s time for you to die!”_  
_“It doesn’t matter, lard ass! I’ve already told Principal Victoria and she called the police!”_  
_“YOU WHAT?!”_

As I walked to the bus stop, I straightened my green hat and grinned to myself. “Hey, dudes!” I exclaimed rather roughly. “What’s up?”

Stan’s eyes went wide for a moment before he rubbed them vigorously. “Dude! Where the hell have you been? You’ve been gone for over a week!” His hands dropped from his face, allowing him to stare at me in shock. “And what the hell happened to you, dude? You look like crap.”

When Kenny raised an eyebrow, I put my hands behind my back and nervously shifted weight between my legs. “I, uh… I’ve been under some stress lately. My mom made me stay home and wouldn’t let me out.” I grinned again and clapped my hands together gleefully. “But that doesn’t matter!” I beamed as happily as I could. “What does matter is that I’m back!” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Stan raise an eyebrow and stare at me. “Dude! I can’t wait to see what the great fairy--er, Mr. Garrison assigned in terms of homework while I was gone.”

Kenny and Stan remained quiet and stared at me until the bus pulled up. They rushed on as soon as the doors opened. I, however, followed much more slowly.

_I stood before the mirror completely naked. Now… Now was the time to see if my plan would work. First, I grabbed the long sleeved shirt I had made from his chest, slipped it over my head, nestled it over my chest, inserted my arms, and wiggled my fingers until they fit into the glove-like hands. Granted it wasn’t a perfect fit, but whatever. I can make do. Next, I took a hold of the pants I made… Hah ha! The Jew has a tiny penis!_

Once inside the bus, I looked around to see what was on everyone’s faces. Besides Stan and Kenny, Wendy seemed to be the only one looking at me. Nobody else seemed to notice that something may have been awry. Before I walked to the rear of the bus, I looked up at the mirror above the windshield and grinned. As I stared at "Kyle's" grinning reflection, I realized something. Despite the costume’s obvious imperfections, it still fooled everyone. Well, almost everyone, but I can work at them if I have to.

I sat down in the seat opposite the aisle of Stan and stared at “my” reflection in the window. As far as everyone is concerned, Eric Cartman committed suicide after I, “The Great Jew Kyle Broflovski”, showed “him” how wrong he was. Funny how everyone, including the cops, bought that little lie. Those dumb asses left me free to do whatever the hell I want and with the ability to get away with it. And as long as I have my new skin and face, my costume, no one will ever think twice about it. Now this...is my greatest achievement. What do ya think of that…Kyle?

**_[FIN]_ **


	6. Hear Me Lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys deal with an unexpected death the only way they know how.

Death… What’s after it? What happens after we lose our life? Do we go somewhere? Heaven? Hell? Or maybe just in a wooden box and that’s it? I’ve been pondering such things these past couple of days. Dude! What if it had been me? What if had been someone else? Would things have turned out differently? Would they had been just the same? It’s been about a week, but one thing still continues to linger in my mind. What if it had been me?

I remember where I was when I heard the news. I don’t think I’ll EVER forget where I was. It’s one of those things that gets seared in your mind when something tragic happens. Ask anybody who was alive when that one president dude was shot in his car back in the sixties. They can tell you where they where when he died… Anyway, I was watching Terrance and Phillip when I got the disturbing news. At first…I thought it was Kenny who had died and left us to join the invisible choir. My jaw dropped and my hands started to shake. “Jesus fucking Christ…” were the only words I was able to get out over the phone. It was a shock, dude. Probably the worst shock I’d ever experienced so far in my life. Why? Why him? Why like that? It should have been me.

I don’t really remember what happened after I broke down and cried. I just know that somehow I ended up in my bed. I stared at the white stucco ceiling, glassy eyed. My pillows were soaked with tears. I didn’t understand it. I had just talked to him THE DAY BEFORE. He had said that he was fine. I knew from the look on his face that he had been troubled about something, but…he lied to me. That bastard! He lied right to my face! Why, dude? Why did it have to be him? It wasn’t his freakin’ time! I’m the one who has health problems, especially with what happened to him! It should have been me!

I rolled over and buried my face into my already soaking wet pillow. None of this made any sense. It just didn’t make any sense. It was almost like he knew. Maybe he did know and didn’t want anyone to worry. Or…maybe he wanted to surprise us and see the looks on our faces afterwards. Well, I hope you’re fucking happy, asshole. You lied right to our faces and now we’re all crying. Jesus Christ. Why…? Why didn’t you just tell us the truth?

_Who’s to say anyone would have believed him?_

I swatted my conscience away, sat up, and hugged my pillow. Nah. He couldn’t have done it to shock us. That’s not like him. I sighed. Not like him at all. I wiped tears from my eyes with a gloved hand and sniffled. Going to school without him…is going to be rough. And not just on me, either. We’re ALL going to take it hard. Time does heal things like this, but it’s still too fresh. We were all too close. I just…I can’t believe he’s gone. This… This just has to be joke.

I closed my eyes as more tears fought to free themselves from my eyes. “God dammit! No! No more crying!” I screamed at myself, but it wasn’t any use. I thought to myself that maybe perhaps praying would help. It’s been awhile since I talked to God, but… Maybe it would help me cope. I wiped my eyes yet again, bowed my head, and clasped my hands together.

_“Forgive me, Lord, please, for all those years I ignored you. Forgive them, Lord, those who feel they can’t afford you. Help me, Lord, please, to rise above this dealing. Help me, Lord, please, to love you with more feeling.”_

_“Oh, won’t you hear me, Lord? Help me, Lord, please, to rise above this feeling. Help me, Lord, please, to burn out this desire. Oh, won’t you please, please, hear me?”_

_“Amen.”_

The wake was going to be tomorrow. I…I don’t know if I can go. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle seeing him lying in a box looking peaceful. Jesus… What if that was me…? What would they all do? Would they be afraid of seeing me? Would they be afraid of seeing me in a box? Would they point and laugh at me? “Ha ha! He’s dead! Finally, that bastard’s dead!” God… I shouldn’t think about it, but I just can’t stop! My mind’s going a mile a minute!

I finally fell asleep that night after tossing and turning. It wasn’t a restful sleep either. I kept dreaming that he was still alive and that we were a foursome again. I knew it was a dream though. And that’s what made it sad.

_“Hey, dudes!”_  
_“Oh, look! It’s the Jew! What’s up, Jew?”_  
_“Dude! Don’t make fun of Kyle, fat ass!”_  
_“Up yours, hippie lover!”_  
_“Dude!”_  
_“Hey, I’d fuck Wendy. She’s got a nice tight ass!”_  
_“Dude! Kenny! She’s my girlfriend!”_  
_“Stan, you mean ‘ex-girlfriend’.”_  
_“Dammit, Kyle… Don’t remind me…”_

I ended up not going to the funeral or anything. I stayed home. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t face seeing all my friends and their families in tears. Or maybe I was just too afraid that I’d see myself lying in that casket. My phone rang several times during those few days and a few afterward, but I knew who it was. I knew who was calling me.

I…didn’t want to talk to him.

I finally broke down and went to see him at the cemetery. “Sleep well, little child, for the Lord holds thee now,” is what the epitaph on his grave marker read. As soon as I saw it I burst into tears. He was too young to be taken from us, god dammit!

“Cartman?”

I was startled by the voice, but not totally unnerved. I wasn’t expecting him to be here when I was, but I knew that he came every now and then. There were a few times I thought about joining him, but…I wasn’t sure how he’d react. Or maybe I was just scared again.

“How you holding up, dude?” came a concerned question.

I wanted to lie, lie right to his face, but I couldn’t. “Nah-not well…” was my shaky reply. “It shouldn’t’ve been him! It shouldn’t’ve been him!” I started bawling my friggin’ eyes out again and wailed loudly. “God dammit, Stan! It should’ve been ME!”

Stan hugged me and shed tears along with me. “Who knew…that Kyle was hiding a heart condition from us all this time?” He paused and then choked out, “Who knew…?” I hugged my remaining friend tightly.

“It…it should’ve been me… I’m the one who put him through so much! I just…”

Stan put his hand on my shoulders and stared me right in the eyes. “Cartman”, he began as the tears fell from his cheeks, “you may have been an asshole to us in the past, but I’m sure Kyle forgives you.”

“But…but what if it had been me?”

“Don’t think about it, dude.”

“But…”

“Dude! Don’t think about it. Kyle wouldn’t want us to worry. He’d want us to accept what had happened, carry the burden as best we can, and move on.” The tears were streaming steadily down Stan’s face, but he somehow managed to keep his voice steady. I sniffled and stared back at him, my tears blurring up my vision. “I did a lot of thinking and I learned something today, dude. Time may have stopped for Kyle, but it hasn’t stopped for us. We’re still alive, dude. We’ll go back to our daily routine like we always have done and always will do until the day that time stops for us.” He was right. God dammit… I hate it when he’s right. “And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“But…I didn’t get to say goodbye,” I said as an excuse to justify my tears.

“Then say goodbye, Cartman.” He tearfully smiled at me and gestured to the smooth marbled stone. I followed his hand and stared at the stone that marked where my friend’s body now laid under the frozen soil. I read the epitaph again and nearly lost myself in tears again.

“Kyle…” my voice cracked, “I’m sorry…for everything, dude. I…didn’t mean to drive you to this. I…”

“Cartman…”

“I’ll try to remember all the good times we had in the past. I’ll try to treasure all the good memories we might have together.” When Stan started to break down beside me, I, too, started to lose my composure. “Suh-someday we’ll buh-be reunited in Heaven and we’ll carry on like we used to…” I buried my face in Stan’s shoulder to let my tears and emotions out, unbarred.

“Kuh-c’mon, Cartman,” sniffled Stan as he patted my back, “Let’s guh-go home…”

I pulled away, wiped my tears, and nodded. I whispered, “Goodbye, Jew.”

As the two of us walked away, our minds lost in our own thoughts of our fallen friend, I could have sworn I heard a small voice within the wind. And to this day I still swear it said to me, “I forgive you…Cartman.”

**_[FIN]_ **


End file.
